Monday, July 7, 2008

waiting

I have been reading this book called waiting. I borrowed it from my friend Glenn. It just about jumped out at me amidst the cluttered bookshelf filled with borrowed, stolen, free and a few bought books.

He asked me, "Are you waiting for something?"

He was joking, but he was right. He IS right.
I am waiting.

I rarely read a book that speaks to EXACTLY to my situation.

but its does.

its saying some radical things to me about how happiness is a gift and not a guarantee.

and i can't imagine anything better than my own manufactured happiness.
Even if God wanted to give me something more.
I think I trust myself more which is horrific conclusion to come to since I have been a self-professed Christian since age five.

I am in a wretched place simply because I feel when I picked up that book...I really picked up a mirror and its a rotten image I see...

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