Monday, December 10, 2007

i'm not [t]here.

i should really stop watching all these quirky ass movies because i feel as though my life is now competing with them.

who can be the weirdest.

i just watched a film, "i'm not there" a non-linear,bio-flick about bob dylan. or should i say bob dylan[s]. it made little to no sense but had I not had the worse day of my life and a cranium-splitting headache I could have endured the 2 hours plus but i found it to be too much for the usual after-work pizza and a movie routine with my cousin, Rita.

it was absurd. and my life is already absurd i don't need anymore absurdity purely for entertainment. i already feel as though my life is non-linear with events clearly happening out of order. now, all i need is a few more characters coming out of the woodwork claiming to be myself.

Sunday, December 9, 2007

write it all down and don't leave anything out.

i have about 12-13 journals. I have been writing...documenting my days since I was about 9 yrs old when I received my first journal as a birthday present.

"what do you do with it?" i asked my nana [grandma]
"well, you write what you do in it."
"that's it?" i responded, perplexed.

my first entry:

I ate a grilled cheese sandwich today at nana's house.
i played sonic the hedgehog on my SEGA.

i found it hilarious that that was the beginning of what would be many journals to come. I journaled throughout middle school and sporadically in high school. i hadnt written in a couple years when my would-be mentor [ a professor at wheaton] began encouraging me to write again.

i came into his office one day as I did just about every week. And he had a whole shelf of thin booklets. when I asked him about them he sheepishly responded, "journals, i guess." and that is when it began...
he said, "this may sound sacrilegious but, I have always considered these books the third testament. there's the old and the new, of course. and those are the stories of god's faithfulness to His people throughout history but, the third well, the third is ours. His faithfulness to us as individuals. It is our story of His faithfulness. It struck me so much that I began writing again and never really stopped since...I have 4-5 journals just from college alone which i love because it reminds me how stupid i am-how human i am... and how loved i am.