Tuesday, November 27, 2007

"I have to pray!"

, he screamed. today would not be a good day.

i am so utterly heartbroken for my kids.

for those of you who have seen me in the last couple months [face to face]

i am full of stories. i work with behaviorally challenged kids [understatement of the century]. they're the kids that slap their principals, make bomb threats and put their fists through glass windows. yes, i tell LOTS of stories. they never end because they never stop doing shit. and every now and again we have to make restraints. you know take a kid down for fear of harming himself or other people...usually other people. i HATE it. no one takes pleasure in it...it traumatizes them. it re-traumatizes them. they have flashbacks of god knows what physical and sexual abuse and its traumatic for all of us to witness. it is often the closest we get to their real life horror.

it hit me today. as much as this boy is a liar and a pervert. he's also a boy-a hurt boy and i love him.

you only get a stanza.

i pour my heart out
into a paper cup
-its not full up-
its still half empty
its still half empty

Sunday, November 11, 2007

how to get over someone or something [but probably someone]

step one: decide at 1 on a sunday afternoon that hardwood floors would make you bedroom beautiful.

step two: rip up carpet and re-arrange room

step three: "misplace" your cell phone. find it, check for missed calls and "misplace" it again.

step four: book a plane ticket to new york. do not consult your planner or your supervisor. she'll understand or...fire you or she'll understand she has to fire you.

disclaimer: all or any of these steps do not guarantee that you're over "it" but it keeps life interesting.