i am so angry with the state of my life right now. i am so dissatisfied words cannot express. i am an extremely ambitious person and I am used to getting what I want. Not in a "I want that gucci bag, daddy, can you please get it for me?" type of way but in a "I am going to succeed in my endeovers even if I have to punch someone dead in the face." type of way. I think I derserve everything I get and more.
If I think I deserve better I can get it. If I want it I deserve to have it. And if its mine I have every reason to keep it.
now, maybe this seems to be the mindset of some fascist dictator and not a 22 year old and i don't need anyone to tell me i have entitlement issues.
but dammit i had plans...i still have plans. but working retail is boiling up all my intellect. i have a fucking bachelor's and that means something. and i know i will eventually have a job that i can be proud of...but this is a rant [its loosely based on reality] and this ticket to crazy town is round trip so, gimme a minute.
coming back home is like going back in time. i was 22. i was an intern. a go-getter. a loudmouth who wouldn't take no for an answer. now i'm 16 again. nobody knows me or cares. i'm the girl at old navy who can't ring people up correctly and doesn't say much.
cleveland is eating me all up. atleast at wheaton i had a niche. a corner. a square inch unmarked by wheaton's pretension. not here. cleveland's cornier than ever and i don't have a spot to stand on.
the new york interview was a joke. the organization was so disorganized they neglected to give me a time in which to meet them and by then it was too late to book tix to NYC. what a waste. i don't wanna work for someone that unorganized.
i am trying not to be too desperate but what is taking so damn long?